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Just A Thought >
Special Holiday Edition Connect~Connect~Connect
Special Holiday Edition Connect~Connect~Connect
For some people the holidays are a time to reflect on special memories, make new memories with friends & family, travel to new or familiar places, or continue family traditions.
For others it may be a time of reflection of loss or the ongoing burdens of life. How can you connect ~ or reconnect ~ when you have lost so much…that is what I explore in this newsletter with you at this special time.
That is the answer to your questions, your dilemmas, your mistakes or consequences, and your pain. I also believe that is the answer to your choices, your beginnings, your day, and your new life.
There are many reasons to feel alone in this world and I’m sure that you, like me, can find at least one reason why we want to quit right now. “Quit what?” may be the question but I don’t think that quitting is the answer to resolving your pending current situation. From time to time we all feel out of sorts and, in this day and age, with so much change swirling about us, there may seem to not be enough room to breathe, pay the mortgage or the doctor’s bills, or give our kids what we know we should give them let alone have enough time to align ourselves with our souls on a conscious level.
Whatever your burden may be ~ however light or heavy ~ it may be time to give “it” up. No, I don’t mean for you to end things, quit your job, or end your life. We all are in this together but, for the sake of discussion and, to make it a little more personal to you, I will change out the “we” and use the word “you” and “I”.
I have shared with you a few of my personal moments in previous newsletters and I feel impressed to share a monumental time in my life that may give you insights to either yourself or what another person that is close to you may be experiencing.
Point blank ~ the holidays can be a challenging time for some of us because of a loss we have felt or known in our lives.
So now what…
There was a time in my life where I did not see a future for me because there had been a significant loss in my life. My premonitions were no longer fears as they became real life for me when Jimmie, the love of my young life, was killed in a car accident driving home to see his Father on Father’s Day and, in more ways than one, all of my dreams were shattered. The plans we had made to spend our futures together, have children, my dream that he was going to manage my singing career on the side while he coached school kids, growing old together...you name it…they were gone in an instant. No more I love you’s and no more opportunities to say I’m sorry ~ and live to prove it. We were young and in love and many times, because of our insecurities, we argued but there was a connection we shared ~ one that was supernatural, to me, in many ways.
Just weeks before Jimmie died in the car accident I was diagnosed with a rare eye disease that supposedly only eight other people in the world had been diagnosed with at that time. The first doctor from Emory told me there was a 20% chance of me going blind and he was taken back when I forcefully responded “I will not go blind!” The greatest side affect of this disease was that I was no longer able to read anymore which made it all the more difficult for me to attend college, needless to say, full-time. I was encouraged to quit school because I would cause myself undue stress, as one medical professional told me. When treated by one doctor I unknowingly gambled my good health in search of a treatment for the eye disease with high doses of steroids, which created challenging repercussions for me both physically and mentally. Intuitively, I “knew” better at the time but I didn’t listen to my spiritual guidance. And that wasn’t the only time that was true…
I’ve been known to be stubborn and strong willed during most of my life and I think it offered some sort of strength when I really needed it in my life. Regardless, I seemed to have a side of me that could muster up the strength when I needed it and dared to go where “angels fear to tread”. This type of “fear energy” carried me on and off until I was just shy of 24 years of age. I found myself to be fighting a lot with myself and others and in a state of fear that was manipulated like a rollercoaster.
What I will never forget is how dead I felt. Nothing and no one could reach me anymore ~ not even me. In order for me to somewhat function (or a better word would be to fake it) I would say what I had always said in the past and do what I thought I had to do and, as you may be able to imagine, my life became robotic and unfeeling. I was suffering and grieving in death while living in the real world.
After living this way for almost three years and in my last semester of college I found myself on my knees, sobbing, one cold winter’s night in my small one bedroom apartment. I was so lost and I was still “dead”. I was giving up the fight and I had finally hit my bottom. I felt very alone, afraid, and exhausted. Perhaps a better way to describe the residual pain would be to use the word “mutilated” as that is how I felt at the time. It was a very dark place where I found myself to be…very dark. (If you have ever been there, you know what I mean and, if you haven’t been there, then perhaps this may give you an idea of just what that place feels like so you can sympathize with someone you know and guide them as to where they can go, in addition to seeking professional help.)
While I was on my knees in the dark in my living room I experienced a tenuous spiritual warfare going on inside of me. One side gave me the blaring answer to all of my pain telling me to the quick resolution to solve my worldly problems and “do it!” The other side interrupted and spoke in a firm yet comforting tone suggesting that I pray to God and ask Him for help. It was chaotic in my mind and my soul was tormented by the battle at hand. Truly, it was painful to be there, alone, by myself having to deal with this situation that would lead to the answer. It seemed as if Satan and God were yanking me left and right as if I were in a storm at sea.
Finally, in desperation, I cried out to God and asked him to please help me because I had no where else to go. I immediately felt a type of release as if the plug had been pulled out of the tub drain and I felt a slow exhalation of the tension and the pain ease throughout my mind, body, heart, and soul. I continued to express myself and my feelings out loud. During my plea I asked God to help me with my eyes because I still wasn’t able to read any print from a book or a newspaper without the words going all over the page (this was an ongoing struggle to which the medical community had no cure for). In the silence of my helplessness I heard an answer from God which told me to go and see a chiropractor whom I had seen five years before and who would be able to help me.
In that moment, in the silence…I listened because of my faith.
The next day I found where the chiropractor’s new office was and visited with her hoping she would help me. Though she was unable to help me she told me of another chiropractor she knew in a neighboring town who might be able to do something for me and gave me his name. About a week or so later I was in his office and gave him the papers the specialists had previously given me detailing exactly what the eye disease and what parts of the eye it affected. After reading the letters, Dr. Bandy told me that he could not promise me anything but he would do his best and I agreed. He began to apply pressure to various pressure points on my body and continued to do so for about thirty minutes. While I was leaving his office I recall his receptionist telling me what he had done for his wife after she had been in a car accident when the doctors had given her a sentence to live her life in a wheel chair. As of that day, his wife did have a limp as she walked but she was not in a wheel chair.
While hearing that story I felt hope!
When I drove back to my apartment I remember sitting at my dining room table and looking over at the college newspaper. I began to read it quietly to myself for a moment before I realized what was happening, literally, before my eyes. Yes, I was able to read for the first time in almost three years…and I have been reading ever since 1988.
The main reason I am sharing this story with you is because I know there are many people out there who may be feeling hopeless whether it be because of the economy, their 401k plunged, their mental or physical health or whatever they feel they are not at ease with ~ as Louise Hay states, find out what the dis-ease is in your life. * * Please refer to Louise Hay’s wonderful book & DVD “You Can Heal Your Life”
Releasing that “fear energy” was as if I was giving up my life. On that night on my knees, I did give up my life or at least the life I had become familiar living. If I had not done so I believe I would have made another monumental decision. One that would not have allowed me to be here with you and writing these newsletters every month and doing the work I love to do. On that night on my knees is when I dedicated my life to serving The Divine.
During those years there had been many messengers sent to me and many messages delivered ~ some were received and I am sure even more were missed by me. And at times, I saw glimpses and connections sporadically without rhythm. During those dark hours I needed to feel connected for longer than an hour a week, for longer than the few moments of a hug or a conversation though I did feel these beautiful moments I now see, looking back, that I was connecting mostly because of the grace of God and not because of my free will, as I am now doing. There were many times when close friends and complete strangers were utilized by God at all hours of the day and night however, I still couldn’t seem to get myself out of the darkness and relied heavily on ( or another word is “expected”) God to do the connecting for me. When I realized that wasn’t working for me (as I would relapse into fear mode) I found myself at a crossroads on my knees.
What is the message for you in the newsletter? Free Will works for us when we empower ourselves by our conscious choice to connect ourselves to “the Light.” Simply said, or written in this case, connect, connect, connect to your higher power and then give up your burden…then listen… then act accordingly with the Guidance…and you will find peace and resolution within your answer.
“For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.”** ** I Corinthians 13 verse 12 (I encourage you to read the entire chapter to receive the complete blessing)
When you connect to your higher power, and not just in times of turmoil but throughout the day, receive the guidance then apply the knowledge daily ~ walk the talk ~ so you can live your life in peace and fulfill the dreams and purpose of your soul.
Michaelene Intuitive Consultant (Personal, Business, Hospice) Read My Current Newsletter ~ Just A Thought www.Sun2SoulTransitions.com 602.535.5463
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