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Just A Thought ~ 2011 > May 2011 ~ Reaching Out
May 2011 ~ Reaching Out

Feb 5, 2012

One thing that continues to amaze me is how we, as a society, seem to be silently slipping away from each other. Whether it be due to technological trends or the invisible distance of geographical miles it appears as if there are visible boundaries that are taking hold of most of us in some way and it concerns me.

Where we used to make the effort to send a thank you card or convey our thoughts to one another by telephone our communication, if any, has been reduced to that of a text message that repeatedly uses the same few words. Words that have lost their texture and color, their soul and meaning and somewhere in between I think we have lost ourselves. Take a look around you the next time you are in a restaurant or having lunch with a friend and see how many people are gazing into their smart phones having these mini conversations with someone else on their phone, and not with you. Where you once spent an hour or two with a friend treasuring your time together alone you are now spending that time with many “other” people that they are texting to while looking busy making plans, or buying and selling. I will admit that I may check my own phone when the person leaves the table or while they are taking a call but I am finding that this particular mode of communication has become a nuisance and is just plain rude. Unless there is an important call or email that you are waiting for just place the phone on vibrate and in to your pocket and spend the time with the person you are with ~ you remember, the person in front of you who made an effort to be with you.

Why is this an important topic when we seem to have all the time in the world to talk to one another using these gadgets that allow us to transport our ideas across the globe in milliseconds? I sense it is because we are truly losing sight of what we think we are creating ~ a false sense of connection with one another. I recall when I purchased my first computer I was amazed at how quickly information could be relayed back and forth through email and then I entered the world of instant messaging where you were able to hit the send button in a moment of anger, confusion, passion or pleasure. Looking back it seems clear to me that we’re becoming a society of reaction and less action…though they are appearing to be taking the form of actions. We are reacting to each other over and over and over again to the point that we are so burned out that we are losing the quality of the message and just sending erratic and heartless responses. We are losing touch with one another with every stroke, every touch, every text we send as it is one less phone call, one less visit face to face, one less connection ~ and they are adding up quickly. And I am finding there are more and more lonely people ~ of all ages including children and teenagers ~ and the answer to the madness is to prescribe more medications, such as antidepressants if professional therapy isn’t getting results. I realize that I may not be a tape recorder but some of the conversations I have had with people over the past few years seem to be affected by their recollection of a conversation that may have been muddled by the medications they are on or are over medicated to diffuse their “fire” so other people can tolerate their personality. Our patience with each other has been greatly reduced and we just don’t want to hear what other people have to say anymore ~ we’d rather just isolate ourselves in our homes, get lost in the newest technology and delete our spam emails like we throw out the junk mail, and rely on our meds.

While I was walking my dog one morning I noticed that one of the houses in my neighborhood was for sale and though I had only met the older lady a few times while passing by I was not aware of her plans to move. Over the years she had kindly invited me to stop in at any time and so when I decided to ring the doorbell she was pleasantly surprised to see me and invited me in. For the next few hours we had a great conversation though one of the more poignant moments was when I asked her why she had decided to sell her home and move back to Illinois. She told me that she was lonely here and that she found that this city was surrounded with a lot of walls. She was referring to how many of the homes here in the Metro area have walled in back and, sometimes, front yards and how easy it was to hide from your neighbors as you drive into your garage and close the world out. Since I have lived here I have noticed how few people actually know their neighbors ~ even though they may have lived in their homes for years they have no idea who lives beside them. Is it because we have become so overworked at our jobs or are we just becoming so self indulgent that we are unable to make the effort to take the time and make a connection? I can honestly say that I have made the effort to meet most of my neighbors where I have lived in the past fifteen years. Even though it is a large city and there are many people who, at first, curiously observe my interactions I find it is worth the effort and time to at least sincerely try to make a new friend or at least be able to get to know my neighbors by name, at the very least. For me, it is important to do this as it builds a sense of community within a community which I find many of us are missing as we resort to other methods to give us a false sense of belonging.

Recently, I started watching one of my favorite childhood shows “The Waltons” and though it may appear to represent a dated time of innocence the show also revealed times of strife and personal triumphs and failures of not only the family but of the neighbors, as well. There was a cohesiveness that I felt with each show but there was a genuine communication between the family members as well as times of reflection. All in all, there was a strong bond that forged its way through the molasses of each show and I appreciated the depth of meaning. When I look at family television “entertainment” today I see how the writers insert the dysfunction, the criticism, the judgment and sarcasm just to get a laugh (and a sponsor) but at what and who’s expense are we laughing? We wonder where our morals and values have gone to in our children but take a look at ourselves and see how you have been influenced by the media and ask yourself am I living my life or am I living a lie?

Yes, it is a tough question to ask ourselves but perhaps we have wandered too far from the nuclear home base in our perception of what really is in and affecting our lives. Are you at peace with your self and your marriage? Do your children truly know who you are because of who you choose to be in the moment of today or because of your actions of years ago?
Where do you go from here…

Michaelene
Intuitive Consultant (Personal, Business, Hospice)
www.Sun2SoulTransitions.com
Copyright 2011