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Just A Thought ~ 2010 >
December 2010 ~ A Time To Heal
December 2010 ~ A Time To Heal
Dec 23, 2010
A Time To Heal
Sun2Soul Transitions Newsletter
December 2010
Michaelene
Lately, I’ve been in a reflective mood not necessarily because it was prompted by the holidays but more because the seasons of my life are changing. I tend to be a sentimental person whether it be encouraged by a birthday, the holidays, watching an old black & white movie, perusing a photo album or looking into the eyes of a wood burning fire. But this time, it feels different to me, in fact, it’s not the same because I’m not feeling the underlying tinge of sadness that usually accompanies the reflections. I wonder what’s different inside of me…
The reflective moments have usually been based upon a strong emotion, sometimes based on fear, loss, grief, melancholy, what was but will never be again or, just simply stated, what never came to be. I have spent quite a lot of time over the years wondering the purpose of the “what ifs” and the “why nots” perhaps because I had instilled a sense of independence and strength that was needed for me to pursue my career ambitions that I set for myself over twenty years ago. However, for many years, I found my occupation allowed me the opportunity to avoid certain uncomfortable scenarios by creating a level of importance and necessity, thus promoting a false sense of pride, value, and security.
It’s not been easy for someone like me growing up in this world ~ one that did not welcome a child or an adult with “abilities” or “gifts” let alone attempt to understand the fact that each and every person is unique in their own natural way. Some people refer to these variations based upon the personalities that evolve but I am viewing it from my own spiritual perspective that the soul has a Divine purpose in mind. What happens to that soul while it is touring this planet can make all the difference in how it perceives its’ purpose and truly understands its’ purpose from the inside out with a passion.
We are all trying to “fit in” somewhere, to have a sense of identity which for some of us provides a reason to live, a purpose to love, and a sense that we belong. Honestly, I don’t think I was making any unusual effort to not belong but looking back on my life it seemed that I just never really ever felt that I “fit” in. Without even understanding the term, I felt as if I was alien to this Earth since I was a young child and having “supernatural” gifts didn’t seem to coax me into the norm. In fact, I usually would know things I wasn’t supposed to know or had not ever known so how do you explain to bystanders what is really happening other than to just withdraw from society, your family, your friends, and step into the outskirts of fear.
Death was always a neighbor to me in my early life as it seemed to shadow me in my thoughts with knowledge no child should ever have to endure, especially, alone. To be able to see someone’s death and know roughly when they would leave this Earth was a curse in so many ways and for many years I struggled with the visions that were unveiled to me while having simple conversations with a stranger, a friend, and the love of my life. No, it wasn’t fair~ not at all ~ but what else could I do with the information that overwhelmed me without warning or desire ~ some would say that I was being tempted by evil and others may believe that it was a gift from God. Either way, I had to find my own way each and every day, in and out of the years of my life and meandering relationships and just deal with the fact that the gifts had been given to me. What I chose to do with them would determine as to how I would view them in my life as an unnecessary illness or as a feasible way to assist myself and others on their journey. For me, there were years of shame, embarrassment, as well as moments living in a tortured mind. I had to find a place where I could feel as if my soul and body, my mind and heart could come together for once and just exist on the same “plane”.
And so sixteen years ago I moved to the place that I had visited as a teenager with my parents and felt as if I was coming back home. To a place where I had not been in a very long time…a place that felt like it had been my home for many years, though not in this lifetime. I recall telling my mother at the end of our trip to Arizona when I was fourteen years old that I was going to live here one day. Fifteen years later I flew out to survey the state to see if my hunch was still there and less than a year later, I moved across country, over two thousand miles, to begin to look for where I thought I might belong.
How far will we go to find where we belong? Do we even try to find the callings within ourselves that only our soul can propel our adventures in this lifetime ~ do we even care? The beauty of the pioneering spirit is prevalent in notable religious figures such as Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ—she listened to her call and was blessed to become the “Mother of God”. I think that all religions have some type of icon that they admire for certain qualities but perhaps the common denominator is that they followed a call to serve their higher self, a Divine purpose with others in mind. While some people look on with thoughts of judgment and may be repulsed there are those who bless them and the path they take for they know that it is the “road less traveled.”
What road are you on ~ the road to happiness, to wealth, to fame, to dis-ease, to shame, to addiction, to love? The road is not easy for any of us…and I applaud the first line in one of my favorite books, The Road Less Traveled, states “Life is difficult.” Whichever path you take, there may be gravel and dirt, some potholes and grand canyons but it is your path to take that will take a lifetime to live and experience, to explore and to heal, to love and to respect.
Yes, this time is different for me as I’ve noticed that I am less fearful of and in life. I am no longer afraid for I have recently seen my own resting place in my visions. This time is to heal what is left inside of me to give ~ to release what no longer is a part of me and what has died. To harvest my treasures of gratitude and reverence to the life as I know it to be for me in this moment, right now.
Now, I wonder if, you can relate…
Michaelene
Intuitive Consultant (Business, Personal, Hospice)
www.Sun2SoulTransitions.com
Copyright 2010
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