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Just A Thought ~ 2010 >
November 2010 ~ Family Ties
November 2010 ~ Family Ties
Nov 30, 2010
The holiday season is upon us and many of us may be feeling the ties that bind us with our families. Ties that may be twisted or tight, secure or not even present but whatever they may represent to us, they are always present within us, inside of us, and for some, they are forgotten or lost treasures. Distance cannot separate the spiritual connection we feel with each other whether it be geographical or the loss of a loved one or a death. And sometimes, there is a separation that exists even when we are present with each other in order to fulfill holiday obligations and rituals or to appease our sense of loneliness.
So why do so many of us form these types of bonds with those we consider important in our lives? Do we need these bonds to feel more secure or less insecure, to feel a sense of identity or to inherit a name or fortune? Some of these bonds we are born into and others we are given rights by marriage however, there are some special friends who prove over the course of many years and events that they are worthy of such a familial title as they share our childhood moments or our years of growing up in the world and finding our own way, many times without our own families in the picture or, possibly, within reach.
We yearn for this connection with small or large groups of people and some people contain the rights to their family domain as a sacred right that no one may enter into even if in marriage or friendship. Some people treat you like family and welcome you into their homes and hearts with sincerity and genuine warmth ~ there is such diversity out there amongst ourselves regarding our willingness to become a part of as well as to allow an outsider to enter our “family”.
One constant in my life, I have noticed is how older people, at times, have “adopted” me into their family. Looking back I believe they sensed a need I had or perhaps they were fulfilling their own needs by sharing with me a feeling of being a part of their family. Maybe they saw an open or sensitive heart or pitied my naivety, at times but I know that these people usually came in to my life one at a time every now and then and helped my soul, in some small way, to move on without any expectations from them ~ to just let me figure things out on my own but with their support and concern and rarely, any judgment. Their words of encouragement seemed to interrupt my day while I was busily numbing myself to my inconvenient realities at the time while fulfilling my goal of being a loyal and, often lonely, workaholic.
These special people that entered into my life were unexpected and needed, unconditional and caring, and it was just within the past few years, while in prayer, I inquired as to why these people came into my life when they did and for what reason(s). I was graciously shown how each and every person was chosen to enter my life and reasoned that they must have been divinely placed, just for me in that moment and time, to help me, to assist me in some way, shape or form. Some of these people I may have seen once a week or once a month and some almost every day in the workplace for a few years ~ it seemed that they were there when I needed them and also there when I believed I didn’t need anyone.
Many of us come from broken families whether it be from divorce or pain, death or relocation, abuse or neglect, abandonment or addiction. Some of us never knew the families we were born from but were selected to become an addition to a family. We all have different reasons for where we came from and where we are going however, at some point in our lives we have the choice as to where to plant our roots in our hearts and homes and be alive in the moment of the present with the souls around us. During this holiday season and throughout the year, if we so choose to celebrate birthdays and holidays, let us all choose to celebrate life and the family we have in our lives today. These relationships require more than basic maintenance and it is a two way street for all of us ~ regardless of who was hurt last or who had the last word.
Words have power, I believe, and should be considered as such. If you need proof just reflect back on your life as to what you said or promised and see how well you lived up to those words. In the book of Genesis (Bible), God spoke when He wanted to create but you will also find in the Old Testament that the words of God had the capacity to destroy. I believe we hold the same power or truths by the power of our word.
Words have meaning regardless as to whether they are sincere or not and thought(less). I often ask myself as to whether I am stating what I truly mean in the moment—even if it shows I am vulnerable it does not mean I am weak. I may reveal my truth but it is no longer intended to control or influence a decision. I may be determined but it does not mean I am heartless. I have been making a sincere effort for some time as to share what is in my heart and soul with people, even if it means I don’t get the prize I know that I am being who I am. For there is no other person I was born to be but me in this lifetime. I was not born to be my sister or mother, or my neighbor or boss ~ as we all have our own destinies to fulfill. We all have our own lessons to experience and some to share, some to reveal and some to hold sacred, perhaps until we are guided to share the wisdom.
The words we share with our families are powerful. They can be healing or harmful, loving or bitter, forgiving or unkind, critical or supportive, truthful or judgmental. Every word you speak is what they may remember about you…loving or entangled in drama, selfish or words of respect. Let us honor each other and listen to what is said as well as to speak clearly our heart and perhaps we will be known for ourselves, our frailties, our dreams and our fears. Be grateful to have a family, whether it be biological, or adopted, chosen or discovered, imperfect or not.
And say a prayer for each other often. We all could use some Divine Intervention these days…
Michaelene
Intuitive Consultant (Personal, Business, Hospice)
www.Sun2SoulTransitions.com
Copyright 2010
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