January 2010 ~ Reflections

Just A Thought ~ 2010 > January 2010 ~ Reflections

January 2010 ~ Reflections

Jan 31, 2010

As a child I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up ~ though not many people asked me, as I recall. I imagined myself as an actress and a singer on the stage singing my heart out to the eyes in the crowd blinded by the lights that singled me out in the darkness. Since I was about 5 or 6 years old I thoroughly enjoyed acting out commercials in the secrecy of the bathroom sitting on the vanity so I could see my face and orchestrate my expressions so they reflected what I was saying though not necessarily what I was feeling at the time. Those years of practice gave me every opportunity to escape into the world of make believe and pursue my creative dreams of acting, singing, writing, and painting. There were times when I shared my deepest thoughts, after teaching myself how to use the typewriter (mesmerized by my Mom’s speedy fingers & a few lessons I read in her college typewriting course book). Though no one noticed what I was doing while I was busily finger pecking away I found an easy way to disperse the thoughts that flowed through me. They were not the thoughts of an eight year old but seemed to be observations and impressions that were not bound by my lack of understanding of what exactly I was writing about. When I read some of those writings today, I am in awe of the words that lingered on the page that pressed on and beyond my limited view of the outside world and, in many ways, I have continued that pursuit of raw and undefined expression in writing. I wrote poetry, short stories, song lyrics and some basic songs as I grew up and well into my thirties. For me, my short jaunts gave me the opportunity to vent and reveal my innermost thoughts, feelings and vulnerabilities though I rarely shared these treasures that were so personal to me and well guarded. I was afraid to let people in to my world of thoughts for fear they would see something that they might not like or judge me for who I was in the moment even though some of the writings had nothing to do with my own experiences.

Well into my teen years I also wanted to become a doctor and, up until about eleventh grade, this was another interest I had from a young age. Naïve to the various avenues in the medical world I had to choose from I discovered that my dream flat lined when I attended a career day in high school. I spent a few minutes with a heart surgeon discussing my shallow ideas of becoming a doctor toying with the thought of being a brain surgeon or something that sounded important. As I shared my childish thoughts he asked me several questions which were direct and pointed. This well respected doctor did not allow me any wiggle room when I admitted that I wasn’t making “A”s and frightened me when he told me that I would be in school until I was thirty-two years old. Being only17 the idea did not seem too appealing to my carefree spirit undisciplined ways. When I responded to his last question as to whether I wanted to have a family his questions that initially seemed invasive actually gave me a clearer vision and footing as to how much I really wanted that dream to become a reality. Needless to say, I did not go to medical school but I am very grateful to the doctors who followed their dedication and genuine dreams. Due to a recent injury I take each step with gratitude as I walk my dog around the neighborhood and because of one person who followed his passion and excelled in his work I am able to walk as I envisioned myself towards my goal.

One of my last dreams was to have a family…to have children of my own. Though I may be able to cite reasons as to why that never happened one reason is because of a love that died and the final reason was because of the dreaded fear of my “visions” I have seen since a child. Over the course of my life, I have been a mother to my furry pets, and in the past year I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the kids in my community where I live. They have no idea as to how much of a Godsend they have been to me in their times of hopefulness and kindness~ reminding me to keep my heart open and clear and to choose innocence instead of judgment.

As I reflect back on my life and seeing where I am today, I see that I have been able to enjoy pieces of my dreams throughout my life if not by the work of my own design by the gifts of another who offered assistance in their own way. Though I had not made any of the dreams a full-time reality or a career to add to my resume I feel as if I am a person with many dreams, timeless visions, numerous families, alternative medicines, and healing therapies. My journey has been graced by the presence of all these dreams along the way complemented with those I could never have imagined and I feel that I am a better human being for it having several pieces of the pie on my plate. I have been able to sing in choirs and act on stages including a quick jaunt in a one act that ventured to off off Broadway at the age of 19. I have met gifted medical practitioners with degrees in alternative and traditional medicines and I have received their healings in many forms. And I realize that I am a caretaker, like you, to the children of the world.

Taking a look in the mirror, once again and, this time, it’s not for the sake of a commercial but for the growth of a human being, to accept the destiny of a soul, throughout the course of its’ lifetime. And somehow, in some unique way, all the pieces have placed me here in this moment at this point in my lifetime sharing with you some thoughts and dreams, my foibles and passions, and for some, my special gifts.

Thank you for being on the other side of the mirror and allowing me to observe and enjoy you in your most genuine form ~ your soul.

Reflect on the pieces that your soul has collected along the journey and see what they reveal to you…

Michaelene
Intuitive Consultant (Personal, Hospice, Business)
www.Sun2SoulTransitions.com
602.535.5463

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